You’ve heard that expression and you know it speaks to the cost of obtaining something of value. Athletes have to develop and train their bodies and minds to achieve victory. Soldiers have to learn how to work as team, taking and following orders. Students have to learn the various elements of their chosen vocation in order to succeed in that field.

One of the things I hear parents struggling with is their efforts to train their children. They want to help them recognize what’s important or appropriate behavior. They try to encourage the young to behave in a proper manner either in their speech or their actions, preventing them from doing harm to themselves or others. (Disclaimer: I have no children) Or they try to help them see the way to achieve a goal. They say things like: treat others the way you want to be treated; if you run through the house you’ll break something or injure yourself; if you don’t do your homework you’ll flunk the class; if you don’t save your money you won’t get what you’re after. It’s a common effort to communicate with young people, prompting them to gain understanding that will benefit them now and in the future. It used to be the case that parents would use scare tactics to get their point across, even to the point of employing corporal punishment in their insistence. (Pain was involved) I remember an old Christmas movie in which an eight or nine year old boy inadvertently said a curse word in front of his mother. Her response was to put a bar of soap in his mouth for a few minutes in order to help him remember to watch his language. Those types of incentives seem to have lost favor these days. Instead, training is done through rational encouragement, shear repetition, or the incentives of rewards. Pain and discomfort aren’t really in vogue. You can tell I’m old right?

I’m not going to make an argument here about how to parent. However, I am going to make an argument about how to achieve a goal of a different sort. The goal is to become like Christ. How do you do that, or is that a realistic goal at all? The Bible says that we’ve been “predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son.” (Romans 8:29) And lest we think it’s something that will happen only in the “sweet by and by,” the Bible also challenges us to be “transformed by the renewing” of our mind. (Romans 12:2) How is that going to happen and what’s required to achieve this? If you’ve been a Christian for any length of time—and maybe a reader of this blog—you know that the primary sources for Christian maturity are reading the Bible, engaging in prayer and attending church. But there’s something else that needs to be taken into account: incentive. What will prompt us to mature? I don’t mean simply to grow up, meaning to go from being a new believer who doesn’t know anything to becoming a seasoned believer who knows the ropes. Once you’ve been to church for a while you get used to the Bible and the use of its language and content. You learn how to conduct yourself in church service. And you become familiar with praying. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re becoming “conformed to the image” of Jesus.

For one thing Jesus presents Himself in terms of His relationship to the Father. He is who He is because of that relationship. And it isn’t just a connection to the Father as a relative of a family the way we usually use the terms. Jesus described His relationship to the Father as one in which He was in the Father and the Father was in Him. (John 17:20ff) And this relationship was informed by love: the Father loved the Son and the Son loved the Father. (John 15:9, 14:31) The nature of this relationship prompted Jesus to make the statement: “I and the Father are one” which resulted in an effort to put Him to death. (John 10:30) That’s because His statement suggested equality with God. The verse does points to His divinity and is used to support the notion of God as a Trinity: Father, Son, and Spirit. People have been scratching their head over that aspect of our Lord for 2000 years; however, this isn’t an attempt to unpack that concept. What I want to point out is that the mutual abiding of Father and Son described by John extends to us as well! The apostle tells us that Jesus described Himself as a vine and that we’re like branches of the vine. The fruit of the vine is produced on the branches, so it’s through our abiding in Jesus that we produce the fruit that glorifies God. (John 15:4-9) And our relationship with God the Father and God the Son is defined in terms of love. We’re prompted to serve our Lord as loving children loved by God who abide in Him. That sounds pretty good doesn’t it?

What does that fruit look like? The Apostle Paul pointed out that the fruit of the Spirit, meaning the Holy Spirit—the third member of the Trinity—is exhibited by “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23) The point being that the exhibition of holiness—meaning behavior that is a reflection of our Lord—is the product of our abiding fellowship with God the Father and God the Son via the Spirit. We can’t manufacture the fruit described here through shear will power, or by rigorous regimen. We produce the fruit that God desires through our relationship with Him. Abiding in God is the means of fulfilling the Lord’s challenge to bear much fruit. This is where churches, and individual Christians, can fail to understand the nature of the Lord’s mandate. As believers the Lord isn’t dealing with us as employees, servants, or slaves. He deals with us as sons and daughters. It’s in our relationship with God that we can succeed in reflecting Him and performing the works that He desires. The disciplines of the faith (Bible reading, prayer, church) are a means of cultivating that relationship, but if all we do is exercise the disciplines without developing our fellowship with Him we’re going to fall short. And it won’t be as fulfilling either. Our labor will tend toward a competition, drudgery, or a means to status and notoriety. Instead of being the product of a loving relationship with God that inspires and nurtures the church, its impact will be minimal and ineffective—at least in terms of the ultimate goal of glorifying the Lord.

What will it take to become these fruit bearing children who reflect the love of God in their effort to serve Him? The answer to that question won’t be easy to hear. It’s not easy to say either so I won’t say it. Instead I’ll point to a section of the Bible that says it in no uncertain terms.

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. You have not resisted to the point of shedding blood in your striving against sin: and you have forgotten the exhortation which is addressed to you as sons (read daughters as well). “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor faint when you are reproved by Him; For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and He scourges (my emphasis) every son whom He receives.” It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, He disciplines us for our good that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make straight paths for your feet, so that the limb which is lame my not be put out of joint, but rather be healed. (Hebrews 12:1-13)

The author here is talking to Christians—people who know the Lord—telling them they need to accept the responsibility of becoming like Jesus regardless of the cost; and, having done that, to look forward to the serenity of intimate fellowship with God!

What hinders that from happening? As American Christians we’re surrounded by a culture that emphasizes leisure, success, fairness, notoriety and the like. But the text suggests that suffering is a good part of the process of becoming mature in the Lord. His agenda isn’t to promote a fair and accommodating environment, it’s to produce sons and daughters who are capable of intimate fellowship with God, resulting in an ability to reflect the love of God to a distracted and disinterested world. Along the way the Christian is encouraged to accept the discipline of the Lord recognizing it as a means to a God-inspired end. Such discipline isn’t always fair as we usually use the term. Your pastor may not think you’re ready for a responsibility which you desire. Maybe a promotion that you wanted was given to someone who you deemed less qualified for the job. Or maybe you’ve contracted an illness or sustained an injury or loss of another kind. The question is why does God allow us to suffer? In this instance the answer is to become more like Jesus. There are other reasons as well, but today let’s focus on how the Lord works with and in us in order to perfect our relationship with Him. According to Hebrews pain is part of the process. Physical pain may be necessary, but more likely emotional and mental pain in our American circumstance. Stress, failure, unfair treatment, they can all be used to prod us toward maturity in Christ, to being conformed to His image. But the environment of our American culture prompts us to fight for our rights, to contest for equal treatment, to insure our well-being first and foremost, to gain whatever we desire within the confines of the law.

I’m not suggesting that we shouldn’t be participating members of this society. Nor is the acquisition of things essentially wrong. What I’m pointing out is that it isn’t the goal set before us in scripture. The goal is to be conformed, to be transformed from something we were to something else altogether. Sons and daughters of God reflect the Lord in what they do and what they say. And that reflection is the result of an active relationship with the Lord. I don’t say this as someone who’s been perfected; my maturity in Christ is an ongoing process that I continue to pursue. However I can say that reversals of fortune have often proved to be the means used by the Father to draw me closer to Him, and to find my way on a path toward maturity in Christ. And maturity in Christ is what it’s all about. Securing a higher rung on the ladder of success won’t carry a lot of weight before the throne. And a better understanding of the Lord in the “here and now” provides a more solid foundation for living regardless of the circumstances. Those of us who have a lot won’t depend on it for their wellbeing, and those who don’t have much will be assured that the Lord of all will provide. Knowing God in this intimate and personal way will sustain us, but getting there requires submitting to the process of maturity which can often be painful. God is for us but He doesn’t flinch from using adverse circumstances to secure His goal for our lives. And the result is the “peaceful fruit of righteousness” that makes all the pain worthwhile.